RICKTER SCALE: It’s a snow day. Ugh!
I have a suggestion for those of you with semi-suicidal tendencies stupid enough to drive around without snow tires last Friday.
First, stick your head in a microwave long enough to defrost that portion of your brain with an IQ the equivalent of a frozen dinner.
Once the metal plate that takes up the majority of space in your skull stops smouldering, think about the thousands of hours you stole from family, friends, neighbours and swarms of strangers who had their commute in and out of Sooke delayed when your carelessness caused you to careen into a ditch.
Then ponder for a moment or two what the rest of us would like to do if we had the opportunity to get our hands around your throat for a couple of minutes.
And now for those of you who will seize the opportunity to once again whine about the need for another road into Sooke every time a crash delays your ETA, give your heads a shake.
Even if the government anted up the mega millions to improve the existing route or poured billions into carving out a new route with six brand new lanes each way, it won’t make a difference. Not as long as there’s that alarming percentage of motorists who think speed limits are for the rest of us and adjusting your driving to suit the sleet, rain or darkness is for losers.
The bozos who blow by at 120 km/h at the end of the four-lane stretch of the Sookahalla to get home one car length sooner at rush hour are at the top of the bride’s most wanted list.
While I admit I would like to speed up and play chicken with them, depending on what kind of day I had at the office, Joan insists on letting them have their way.
Although she always points out that it’s best to have them in front of you instead of angry and inches from your rear end, I wonder if the real reason is that she doesn’t want to miss a thing when one of them whacks a tree.
Finally, here’s some fresh perspective from the Mainland from my son, Chris, for those of you who complain every time their commute doesn’t unfold exactly as planned.
Friday’s debacle in the snow added a half hour at most each way for folks driving into town. It’s roughly 18 kilometres from the heart of downtown Sooke to Slegg Lumber.
To borrow a page from Louis CK’s playbook, think about how long it would take for you to walk that far.
The husband of one of my son’s co-workers dropped her off at UBC at 7:40 a.m. on that fateful day, and it took him almost three hours to get from there to 41st and Dunbar, a distance of barely 12 kilometres. Feel better now? I know I certainly do.
Rick Stiebel is a Sooke resident and semi-retired journalist.