COLUMN: Growing up is a judgment call we all have to make

It’s one of the rare times, this umpire will look back at the past and yell out: “Good call, Ump! Good call!

By Dawn Humphreys

 

When in my 20s, I was just beginning to grow up while being aware of those around me.

I do mean starting to grow up.

This year I, in 50s am enjoying the process of growing up, in fact I embrace it – it’s fun.

This story isn’t really about growing up, this chronicle is about making a judgment call. I had to grow up to do it.

My husband and I were newly married.

We were also members in a close knit church – I say ”close knit” due to if it were found out you consorted with “the world” the minister just might come “aknockin.”

During this time a lot of baby girls had been born and my husband and I noticed a trend – it started with one mom, then another … and then it seemed an all out and out contest.

Who could put the most ribbons, lace, ruffles, and gathers into the dress they made (or had made for them) for their baby girl?

I judged them. In fact, I am embarrassed to admit, I really judged them.

I even asked my mother-in-law to stop sending those amazingly cute suits for our son, I was in judgement.

A quick digression on judgement.

Nasty stuff that especially with Christ mumbling, “judge not, lest you be …” Today, I strive not to judge instead I umpire.

The first agreement I made by myself on not judging was on my past. I would allow it to simply be. What’s done is done and couldn’t be changed (but maybe, just maybe – could be learned from.)

So, I umpire. Umpires – umpires are in the game they are in.

My game = I umpire me. Now it’s not to say sometimes (OK fine!  Many times) I can look back and want to jeer.

Then, my brother’s daughter was born .

I adored that kid from birth.

I watched her being judged and remembered how it felt. I felt a connection to her from then on. So, I got in the lace and ribbon gathering game.

I bought this teal sparkle material that set my grocery money back a bit, but I didn’t care I was in the game. The matching lace was bought and ribbon too.

I set about making a dress a salon girl would be proud to wear – it was gathered to the nines, laced and ribboned within an inch of its life – and given to that niece I simply loved and felt I would always understand.

It felt good to allow her and me in the game – just that once – together.

It’s one of the rare times, this umpire will look back at the past and yell out: “Good call, Ump! Good call!

I’m still thankful to mother and daughter for letting me in the game.

•••

Dawn Humphreys is an East Sooke resident and author of the upcoming book Straight Talk from a Zig Zag Girl.

 

 

Just Posted

Sooke School trustee and VIHA both call for vaccine education in schools

A renewal of cultural memory is needed, says trustee

Greater Victoria teachers experienced more than 30 incidents of violence from students in one month

Shuttered behavioural programs, lack of resources creates challenges for local schools

Canadian alcohol policy gets failing grade from UVic researchers

Canadian provinces and territories collectively achieved less than half of their potential to reduce alcohol related harm

MISSING: 32-year-old Heather Limer last seen in Victoria

Limer was last seen in the 800-block of Johnson Street on Feb. 18

Sell regulated heroin to curb B.C.’s overdose problem: report

B.C. Centre on Substance Use points to organized crime and money-laundering as contributing factors

B.C. legislature moving suspended staff controversy to outside review

Whale watching, Seattle Mariners trips billed as emergency preparedness, Speaker Darryl Plecas says

More people signing up for compulsory vaccines

Maple Ridge mom says public tired of hearing about measles

Writing contest for teens

Students in grades 8 to 12 are invited to enter the Vancouver… Continue reading

UPDATE: Man charged in stabbing of woman, off-duty cop outside B.C. elementary school

Manoj George, 49, is facing two counts of aggravated assault and two counts of assault with a weapon after the incident on Wednesday, Feb. 20.

Federal fisheries minister calls for precautionary approach to fish farming

Government still reviewing Federal Court’s decision on PRV – Wilkinson

Why do zebras have stripes? Perhaps to dazzle away flies

Researchers from University of Bristol look into why zebras have stripes

Poll: More voters believe Canada doing worse under Trudeau government

22 per cent believed the country is doing better and 27 per cent said things are the same

HBC shuttering Home Outfitters across Canada

North America’s oldest retailer is revamping its various stores to improve profitability

Most Read