COLUMN: Welcome to Sooksquatch Crossing

Let me start by saying I don’t particularly care for Tim Hortons coffee to distance myself from any future conflict of interest court cases.

Let me start by saying I don’t particularly care for Tim Hortons coffee to distance myself from any future conflict of interest court cases.

My addiction to the coffee bean leans toward Serious Coffee Africanos, which I manage to keep to between three and eight a week, depending.

I do believe, however, that I have the perfect location for a local Timmy’s, which according to a recent unofficial poll, would be heralded with much delight by the good folks of Sooke.

The ideal location for that famed purveyor of donuts would be our house, once I convince the other 20 odd owners in our strata to sell.

I figure somewhere in the neighbourhood of 600 grand to a million per would have us falling over each other fighting for pens to sign on the solid line.

Our townhouse complex, conveniently located a block off of Sooke Road just seconds from the heart  of downtown Sooke, is surrounded on three sides by huge tracts of land already approved for explosions of residential development.

There’s even been efforts in the past to buy our little plot of paradise by a developer who needed a strip of our property for access. We stymied that after he insulted us with a couple of lowball offers and stormed out of our AGM, threatening to sue the city.

My plan starts with getting the developers together to pony up and purchase our strata, clearing the way for Sasquatch Crossing. That’s a slam dunk as long as you wave enough promise of profit under their noses.

Now, before you wonder what I’ve been smoking or ingesting, the answer is nothing at the moment, thank you, so please read on and let me explain.

There is definitely more than enough room to expand way beyond just a Tim’s into all sorts of schemes once the developers’ cheques have cleared to secure our strategic spot. More than enough for a White Spot at least.

There may be the minor inconvenience of changing the zoning to include commercial, but a quick consultation with Langford Council would iron out those wrinkles in a blink, wink, wink.

A Tim Hortons in Sasquatch Crossing would anchor a carefully crafted selection of tourist traps guaranteed to shake the dollars out of tourists’ pockets and purses without corrupting the roundabout with a collection of discarded Timmy’s cups, lids and wrappers.

We could create local jobs by adding a cultural element through a partnership with our local First Nation to build a Long House showcasing the amazing talent of local artists like Carey Newman.

I did a feature 20 years ago in Monday Magazine on Carey for 50 bucks that led to our decision to move to Sooke, so he owes me big time.

And finally, we could add the bride’s vision of what’s needed most in this little burg; a combination bagel bookstore. Whether that flies or not, it would at least satisfy my curiosity about whether she’s onto something big. Did I mention the Sooksquatch Crossing gift shop where tacky caps, cups and shirts would fly off the shelf?

•••

Rick Stiebel is a Sooke resident and semi-retired journalist.

 

Just Posted

Son of Second World War veteran returns to Norway to see site of rescue, repatriation

Six-man crew crash lands in Nazi occupied territory, only known instance of entire crew surviving

War bride’s oversea voyage to Canada took a leap of faith

More than 45,000 women immigrated to Canada after the Second World War

One woman’s scrapbook uncovered at Fort Rodd Hill tells story of thousands during Second World War

Joyce Margaret Whitney served in the Canadian Women’s Army Corps from 1942 to 1946

A time of remembrance

Hundreds gather at Canadian Legion to honour those who have served and sacrificed

VIDEO: Hundreds gather at Langford’s Veterans Memorial Park for Remembrance Day

More than 65 wreaths laid, including homemade wreath from Afghan veteran

VIDEO: Hong Kong police shoot protester, man set on fire

It was the second protester shot since the demonstrations began in early June

Victoria Jazz Orchestra concert raises funds for the Single Parents’ Resource Centre

Maria Manna on tap for the Nov. 16 performance in Victoria

Renowned men’s chorus ‘Back by Popular Demand’ in Victoria

One of Canada’s premier singing ensembles kicks off its 39th season on Nov. 16

Mexican culinary celebration fills Victoria Public Market

Taco, Tequila and Margarita Fiesta takes over the Victoria Public Market the evening of Nov. 16

Sportsnet fires Don Cherry after negative comments about immigrants

Don Cherry had said immigrants don’t wear poppies like other Canadians do

Trudeau’s new cabinet: Gender parity because it’s 2019? Or due to competence?

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau will soon appoint his new cabinet

Canada among three G20 countries least likely to hit emissions targets

It says Canada, South Korea and Australia are the farthest off

Conservatives’ Scheer wants Trudeau to open Parliament Nov. 25

That’s five days after Justin Trudeau is scheduled to swear in a new cabinet

Last remaining Centurion tank from the Korean War makes its journey ‘home’ to B.C.

Tank arrives in B.C. the day before Remembrance Day after a more than 4,500-kilometre transfer

Most Read