To the person who has helped themselves to all the apples at my home on Gillespie Road yet again this year.
I hope you choke on them. I haven’t been pruning, spraying, fertilizing and watering them for your benefit.
Although you may think it’s a lark, it actually is trespassing on private property and theft. Video surveillance is very cheap now and be warned that next year when I find out who you are (and I will) that I will be prosecuting you to the full extent of the law.
You must be the two-footed type of thief because you were far too tidy – and left only the worst apples behind.