Listening to the local news I hear Kim Campbell, spouting off with regards to our cherished national anthem. So here is what I came up with:
Our home and native land… well wait a minute… what about the landed immigrants… wouldn’t that offend someone… geez we better change Native then to something else.
True patriot love in all thy sons command. Well we know how Kim Campbell and a few others feel about this… and hey, Kim was Prime Minister for a week I think so indeed, a change needed here.
With glowing hearts we see thee rise… Oh oh… what about the Canadians with heart conditions or those who are sad, or depressed… Definitely need to change glowing to perhaps neutral hearts is a better selection here.
The True North strong and free! oh… cannot offend the prisoners in the justice system… free not good.
From far and wide,… as a fat guy… I really think the word “Wide” is very offensive… Change needed.
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee. Wait a minute… What if I don’t agree with the governments policies. Like the war on terror or something else… hmmm… guard needs to be changed, maybe to “if I feel it is right for me, I will stand on Guard for thee.”
God keep our land glorious and free!… GOD!!!! oh my this is terrible… What about those who worship Buddha, or Allah, or a Goddess… or the Canadian who is an atheist… can’t use God, that is blasphemy. And what about the renters or the homeless who don’t own any land… so maybe “our land” is also inappropriate!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee
Kim Campbell… shut up. There is nothing better then hearing O’Canada when one of our athletes wins gold at the Olympics, at the beginning of a hockey or lacrosse game, or even better, at a Remembrance Day ceremony. But I got to say… great way to get your name used again by us Canadians. Congratulations Kim… you get another 15 minutes of fame!