Letters: Minor bylaw amendment request

A tongue-in-cheek letter to the editor om Sooke bylaws

To Sooke council c/o Sooke News Mirror.

Further to my initial application to construct a small garden shed towards the rear of my property, I feel a few minor amendments and variances are required to allow this vision to grow to its full potential.

After borrowing Field of Dreams from the local library, I realize that the initial schematic was overly modest. The shed has now been superseded by an 8-story condominium/hotel/yurt project tentatively being marketed as Silver Mariners Prestige Village Spray IV.

The building itself will be primarily constructed from locally-gathered twigs and straw, although the spa and bistro will feature a design based on marble and diamonds.

I realize that although this development will aid the municipality in terms of creating hundreds of well-paid jobs into the next millennium, there is a need to put something back into the community.

For this reason, should you approve the application, I promise to add a new library and community centre together with a fully-equipped 50-bed hospital. If this does not suffice, you should be aware that I am engaged in preliminary discussions with both a film studio and a ferry service. And did I mention a hanging-garden in the style of ancient Babylon?

At this stage, I feel I must be honest with you and confess that we only have parking spaces for three cars and will obviously require some flexibility from council. However, I have observed that there seems to be plenty of unused space in the middle of Sooke Road and with just a few cans of paint, we could create a third lane (yes, it will be a bit narrow) dedicated exclusively to parking. I await your approval comfortable amid a long history of precedent.

Yours in promises,

Clive Jones

Sooke